A little more info

I wanted to just add a little more information about the whole adoption process.  I think that many people are under the impression that when a couple is trying to adopt through an agency they are put on a list and when their name comes up they get a child.  This may be the way it used to work long ago, but it is rarely that way now.  As I said in my last post, the birth mothers are given profiles of couples to look at and see if they find a couple (or family) that they like.  Even before the birth mothers get the profiles the agency looks at what the birth mother is looking for in a family and then looks at the families that are waiting.  Each potential adoptive couple has to fill out a grid of what they are willing to accept in a birth mother or a baby.  One major factor is race.  At this point we are only open to caucasian and caucasian with Hispanic as well.  This is just a personal preference for us.  We are also looking to adopt a newborn, but we may be open to a baby that is up to 6 months old.  There are also many other factors that the agency asks you to consider.  The categories on the grids involve drug and alcohol use, mental illnesses, cigarette use, and many other diseases or illnesses that can be both genetic and not.  It is unfortunate that most domestic adoption situations will involve some sort of drug or alcohol use.  Surprisingly the use of drugs (even major ones like cocaine) is far less damaging than alcohol.  Alcohol use is very damaging, even if the birth mother got drunk once while pregnant.  Matt and I are very open on our grids, meaning that we are willing to accept many risks.  However of course we would rather (just like everyone else) find a birth mother that is healthy and will potentially have a healthy child.  No one can predict what a child is going to be like whether the mother used drugs and alcohol or if she did everything she was supposed to during her pregnancy.  I always tell my friends to look at my situation.  I did everything I was supposed to do during my pregnancy.  I didn't even eat chocolate because of the caffeine (boy was that hard) and I still had a premature baby.  You just never know what's going to happen.
Hopefully I have given all of you a little more info about the whole adoption process.  Please let me know if you have any questions about adoption or about our personal experience and what we are looking for through the adoption process.